Summing it Up

Number of miles travelled: 2213
Number of State lines: 6
Number of U-turns: 17
Tanks of gas: 9

Live animal species petted: 9
Dolphins hit by ferry boats: 0
Southern BBQ restaurants experienced: 4
Pigs eaten: 2.5
Vegetarian restaurants: 1, grudgingly
Local beers tasted: 4

Average age of guys that hit on us: 20
Favorite pick-up line: “Are ya’ll on Spring Break?”
Number of successful pick-ups: 0
Number of Pretty Discounts: 5
Average $ amount spent at consignment, vintage, outlet stores: 300 each
Number of new outfits that no one in DC/Chicago will ever be able to recreate: infinite

Gracious hosts: 6
Coked out hostel owners: 1
Hippie musicians at Nashville hostel that tried to bum a ride: 2
Number of rides given: 0
“That’s what she said” jokes: 78 (before we lost count)
Recurring inappropriate conversation topics: 4
Liters of bourbon purchased: 2
Future barrels of bourbon to be purchased: 1, depending

Times we sang along to John Denver’s “Country Roads”: 21
Chapters of Harry Potter on audio book: 26
Times we listened to the news on the radio: 3
Paradigm-shifting, historic votes we missed back in DC: 1
Sports sections we read along the way: 3
Front pages we read: 0.5

Raw oysters consumed by vegetarian: 6
Fake-meat courses consumed by omnivores: 1

Stars seen in the northern GA wilderness: infinite
REM sleep hours camping in said forest: 1 (combined)
Times spandex took the place of pants: 14
Georgian octogenarians who judged and whispered to themselves about said spandex: 12

Number of sleepless hours: 8
Sleepless hours spent watching Miley Cyrus movie: 2
Ghosts captured on camera: 1
Bleached blonds encountered: 30+
Number of boxes of blond hair dye left on most CVS shelves: 0

Times Jackie asked to borrow toothpaste: 25
Times Rachel said “it’s in the plaid backpack”: 25
Times Jackie scored: 1
Age of the man (who assisted (in the indoor soccer game)): 44
Crushes developed on musicians we’ll never meet: 2

Cups of coffee held comfortably at one time by Amanda’s bladder: 0.3
Composting toilets used: 1
Clogged toilets we wished were composting: 1
Interiors of men’s bathrooms photographed: 1
Minutes spent in communal bathroom by hippie musician at one time: 43

Number of future road trips/vacations/long weekends/adventures planned: 79
Number that will actually happen: unclear as yet